Lucas' Random Hips poem
This poem grabs your attention from the first line! The comparison to geriatric might be something to expand. The passage "my cellulite is dynamite" gives the poem a positive tone. The speaker appears to be masculine because of the language such as "huff up stairs, pools overflow, like deep fried atom bombs covered in cheese." Normally a guy wouldn't worry about his hips-that's a feminine traite, but the imagery and comparisons work very well. I would suggest work on the last 2 lines they don't really seem to go with the rest of the poem.
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