Classmate Response Week 13

Josh's Break-up

I love how this story is so unexpected. It starts with what you would think is cliche: text-message break-up. However, it is an amazing story. Each part of the story pulls the reader in a little more. I think a good title would be "Eskimo Kisses". That is what connects the story. The descriptions are very original. For example, "The blood from her nose is coagulated on the kitchen's Italian marble" To me, the part about the knots is a little confusing. I think the first section is really the only part that needs editing. It's a little confusing about why is she a drunk? and why does she smoke pot? Those details do not seem relevant to the rest of the story. I would suggest focusing on the quitting cigarettes and not kissing in the morning. I think those could be significant in the rest of the story. It is such an unexpected break-up story. I really enjoyed that its not at all cliche.